Cameron: I do not want to eject seamen prematurely
Adapting Royal Navy submarines to allow women to serve on them will cost £30 million, MPs were told. Defence Secretary Ivor Hammond-Organ said the money would allow women to have separate accommodation...
View ArticleIs Kim Jong Junior weird enough for the job?
As North Korea comes to terms with the loss of its "Dear Leader", the shadowy figure of "the Great Successor", his son Kim Jong Mark II has begun to emerge. Young Kim Jong II only appeared with his...
View ArticlePublic Libraries: return books on time or be shot
Police officers can now lawfully shoot those who mock the library fine system. "In some cases during the summer several thousand library books were not taken back on time throughout England. This is...
View ArticleThe British hand over the Isle of Wight to Argentina
The Isle of Wight is to be handed over to Argentina in the New Year. Britain and South American countries including Brazil, Argentina, Paraguay and Uruguay, came to the decision at a secret summit in...
View ArticleBomb Squad keep abreast of the times
Officials in the U.K. have issued an alert to women after it was discovered that some breast implants manufactured in France and sold in the UK are likely to explode on Christmas day, the Daily Express...
View ArticleCameron: Bomb the Kremlin to support rebels
As tens of thousands took to the streets of Moscow to protest against allegedly fraudulent elections, as opposition leaders issued scathing personal attacks on Vladimir Putin in the hope of preventing...
View ArticleMore Pandas than thin people in Edinburgh
A shock report has announced today that research has shown that there are now more Pandas than thin people in Edinburgh. As Tian Tian the panda eats her panda cake in her enclosure at Edinburgh Zoo on...
View ArticleTories announce High Speed Ozzi-Tunnel
Transport Minister Justine Greening, apparently encouraged by the public's apathy to her financial excesses of HS2, has announced her next project; the 'Ozzi-Tunnel'. This will cut journey times...
View ArticleDisney Empire buys Guantanamo Bay
Today marks the 10th anniversary of the opening of the U.S. military detention camp for terrorist suspects at the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba; it is also the day that the Disney Empire...
View ArticleNewsnight exposes famous BBC children's entertainer as yet another pervert!
Just when we thought the BBC sex crimes scandal could get no worse newsnight have exposed another major BBC star. The most startling claim of abuse in the programme appeared to come from a female known...
View ArticleTory's new 'ducking-stool' disability assessment launched
George Osborne has announced the governments new method of assessing claimant's disability, known as the 'ducking-stool'. The contract, worth £134 trillion, is expected to be awarded to Cameron,...
View ArticleIs Kim Jong Junior weird enough for the job?
As North Korea comes to terms with the loss of its "Dear Leader", the shadowy figure of "the Great Successor", his son Kim Jong Mark II has begun to emerge. Young Kim Jong II only appeared with his...
View ArticlePublic Libraries: return books on time or be shot
Police officers can now lawfully shoot those who mock the library fine system. "In some cases during the summer several thousand library books were not taken back on time throughout England. This is...
View ArticleThe British hand over the Isle of Wight to Argentina
The Isle of Wight is to be handed over to Argentina in the New Year. Britain and South American countries including Brazil, Argentina, Paraguay and Uruguay, came to the decision at a secret summit in...
View ArticleBomb Squad keep abreast of the times
Officials in the U.K. have issued an alert to women after it was discovered that some breast implants manufactured in France and sold in the UK are likely to explode on Christmas day, the Daily Express...
View ArticleCameron: Bomb the Kremlin to support rebels
As tens of thousands took to the streets of Moscow to protest against allegedly fraudulent elections, as opposition leaders issued scathing personal attacks on Vladimir Putin in the hope of preventing...
View ArticleMore Pandas than thin people in Edinburgh
A shock report has announced today that research has shown that there are now more Pandas than thin people in Edinburgh. As Tian Tian the panda eats her panda cake in her enclosure at Edinburgh Zoo on...
View ArticleTories announce High Speed Ozzi-Tunnel
Transport Minister Justine Greening, apparently encouraged by the public's apathy to her financial excesses of HS2, has announced her next project; the High-Speed Australia link, or 'Ozzi-Tunnel' as it...
View ArticleDisney Empire buys Guantanamo Bay
Today marks the 10th anniversary of the opening of the U.S. military detention camp for terrorist suspects at the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba; it is also the day that the Disney Empire...
View ArticleNewsnight exposes famous BBC children's entertainer as yet another pervert!
Just when we thought the BBC sex crimes scandal could get no worse Newsnight have exposed another major BBC star. The most startling claim of abuse in the programme appeared to come from a female known...
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